you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
