What a fucking waste of an outfit
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
