you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
