she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
