Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
