I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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