just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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