True but thats because hes a fetus.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
