I'm really into asian looking animals
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
