Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
my being single is dangerous.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
