btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
