i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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