I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
