I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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