my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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