hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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