Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
