And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
