i don't like sucking hair
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
