lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
did i just pee glitter
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
