I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
