Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
