i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
