i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
