i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
