Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
be right there i have to get my cape
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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