Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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