I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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