his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
