You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
