I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
