So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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