nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
