Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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