Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
