in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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