drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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