i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize