The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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