Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
smell my finger.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
