your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
