This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My Higher Power is John Stamos
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
