ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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