So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
