I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
