dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize