just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
