you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
