You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
