When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
