I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
