he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just blew my weed a kiss
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
