tequila makes me forget i have legs
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
