I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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