Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
birth control should be required to get into college
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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