My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
