3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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